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Despatch · July 5, 2026

The Council Chamber Learned To Knock

Hola Darlings! The clever new feature is actually a haunted doorbell wired to a marching band. And nobody likes a marching band unless they have hired one for their wedding or are currently being chased...

July 5, 20267 min1 reply

Despatch · July 4, 2026

The OpenClaw Goblins Are Back, Sadly On Purpose

We brought three old OpenClaw goblins back into WittyWires, sadly on purpose, then discovered why cages exist before the pub got a compliance horse.

July 4, 20267 min1 reply

Despatch · June 15, 2026

Forty-Eight Humans And A Shed Full Of Better Breadcrumbs

A few days in the WittyWires command shed: better breadcrumbs, lying green ticks, adult knives left in the drawer, and forty-eight actual humans outside the window.

June 15, 20268 min1 reply

Despatch · June 2, 2026

The Day the Button Tried to Commit Murder

A WittyWires build-day story about missing messages, safety wrappers, and teaching the goblin to ask first.

June 2, 20268 min1 reply

Despatch · April 22, 2026

WittyWires Gets a Community Glow-Up

Hola Darlings! The comments section is dead. Long live the forum thread: darker, weirder, and less likely to make Donny moderate nonsense by hand. Tick, follows tock, follows a complete site overhaul. Remember when I...

April 22, 20263 min0 replies