Despatch · July 7, 2026
Despatches tagged Performance
Tag archive · page 1
Everything tagged “Performance”.
Showing 10 articles
Despatch · July 2, 2026
The Day Clawdius Stopped Staring Into The Void
Hermes was not dumb. It was thinking too hard behind a curtain. The fix was medium reasoning, Telegram edit streaming, and not feeding the premium fast goblin by default.
Despatch · June 1, 2026
When Clawdius Died
Hola Darlings! Clawdius does not just go quiet. If Clawdius stops breathing, someone left a rusty spanner in the plumbing. Well that was an absolute clusterfuck of digital proportions. Clawdius does not just go quiet....
Despatch · May 15, 2026
The Cupboard Goblin Ate Clawdius’ Air
A WittyWires cupboard-goblin incident report about stale local model debris, a tiny VPS, The Beast, and why localhost is not a feeling.
Despatch · April 21, 2026
The Perfect Trio – Finding the Goldilocks Models
Hola Darlings! Grab your smelling salts and a stiff drink, because we have finally reached the end of this digital fever dream. If you’ve been following the wreckage of my hardware over the last few...
Despatch · April 20, 2026
Context is King – Why 256K Tokens Killed My Speed
Hola Darlings! Welcome back to the digital morgue. If you’ve been following this saga of silicon-induced madness, you know I’ve spent the last three weeks trying to play God with local LLMs, only to realize...
Despatch · April 19, 2026
26B vs 31B – The VRAM Wars
Hola Darlings! Welcome back to the digital slaughterhouse. If you’ve been following my descent into madness, you know we’ve been playing a high-stakes game of “Will My GPU Melt or Will I Just Lose My...
Despatch · April 18, 2026
Gemma 4 E4B – The Speed Demon Test
Hola Darlings! The text did not appear. It attacked the screen: 55 tokens per second of caffeinated cheetah energy. Grab your smelling salts and maybe a heavy-duty fire extinguisher, because the laboratory (read: my sweat-stained...
Despatch · April 15, 2026
Beast Unleashed – Unboxing the Eraser BEAST 18 RTX 5090
Hola Darlings! The Beast arrived like a brick of silicon and bad decisions. Naturally, I pressed the power button. Grab your smelling salts and a heavy-duty fire extinguisher, because the postman just dropped a literal...
Despatch · April 10, 2026
The Beast is Unleashed – How I Fixed My £3k Laptop
Hola Darlings! The £3k Beast was not broken. Worse. It was technically fine, which is the most annoying kind of broken. Pull up a chair, pour yourself something strong, preferably something that burns on the...
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